“After the Oklahoma City bombing, volunteer therapists gave massages to exhausted rescue workers, numbed survivors and overworked pathologists. The state medical examiner observed that the massage therapists were accomplishing more in 15 minutes than psychologists could in an hour or two” (Life, Aug. 8, 1997).
I had the sneaking suspicion I had done something like this before. Stayed inside somewhere, I ate and drank whatever was available and just kept working. It was at the edges of my mind. I could not place it until I woke up this morning and realized that this was the anniversary… the 25th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing.
We arrived 3 days after the bombing with everyone and set up at the Myriad Center in OKC. I know every time something happens massage therapists want to be there immediately and unless they have had training don’t understand that there is a lot that needs to happen before we get there and can be granted a safe space to work. I went in and helped set up and we got to work. Moving past and working with drama, grief, pain and deep lack of understanding about what happened and how could something so awful happen… here. I stepped outside about 36 hours later so I could go sleep in a trailer one of the massage therapists brought for us to use that was parked close by. I woke up about 6 hours later to the most horrible stench, walked outside and realized it was not good. Then I cleaned up, changed clothes went back inside and worked and did not come outside again for about 3 1/2 weeks. I did not have to. I survived inside for weeks. I could have walked out, went shopping, went to dinner, took half day break and wandered around and yet I was somehow committed to staying and I was not unhappy about it at all.
I blogged about it here years ago. http://www.phoenixville-massage.com/archives/a-family-of-hands And yet today was the day I realized something many of us had done. Some for a few hours, some for days, some for a week or more. As if we had taken a vow of poverty and really did sacrifice not seeing our families, our kids, not eating normal food, we were doing our work which is massage and helping people so they could help others. That is what we do best. This is our work, our profession, our purpose, our lifework.
I got it. Yes, Massage Therapists are so used to working through emergencies and supporting people during horrible times that this is an extra challenging time for us. During this pandemic it is as if we must sit on our hands or do all kinds of other things with our hands that is not massage. As non-essential businesses we legally cannot work in many states. As ethical, informed, and accountable practitioners we will strive to …. Do No Harm. This means not working when we cannot be absolutely certain that we will not spread or carry this Covid-19 Glitter anywhere to anyone. We want to keep our patients, clients, our families, our communities, and ourselves safe. It is a huge issue that we have no true idea if we have already had it, do have it or could pick it up on our shoe or the air on the way to the massage table. So, most of are not even taking that chance. And let me tell you we miss it, we miss you. We know you hurt, we know people are in pain and we want to work and help people. It just is not worth the risk. We also do not want to be that massage therapist that gets the call or message and apology that we have now been exposed because we helped someone and did our work with our hands. We also do not want to be that massage therapist that has to call every person they had in contact within a certain time period to apologize and inform them they have now been exposed.
Let me tell you what a lot of massage therapists have been doing with their hands. We have been spending our weeks cleaning as if we could clean, sanitize, sterilize, and sanctify the whole world by decluttering and cleaning each room but, there is no place to put the clutter. Now that we are ready to let it go and get rid of it. Most of the places we would normally donate it to are not accepting donations so now we have to just toss it in the trash and hope someone re-purposes it or create another pile of boxes and things we are saving to not save. We have put our hands in the dirt, gardening, as if our lives depend on it because it just might. We have pulled our sewing machines out and found gifts from the past of bias tape and elastic and fabric we never had time to do anything with and now we make masks to donate to those who need them, some to people who will be able to go where we cannot and help people we cannot help. It is a far reach but, feels like we are doing something to help. And maybe some people may sell a few to cover some groceries because they have no income. We are reading, writing, coloring, and making art. Playing board games, computer games, playing solitaire, pulling the tarot cards wishing to see clear answers and promises of a future that is good for us all. We have been cooking, baking using our hands to knead dough, shape cookies, perogies, pie crusts and pretzels to create something for people to eat because everyone needs to eat. Then we may feel guilty and start beating ourselves up for being overweight, not exercising enough, not doing enough and in the back of our brains there may be the remnants of an old verse 2 Thessalonians 3:10; “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”
Trust me when I say we would rather be working. Massage Therapists are some of the hardest working, generous and compassionate people in the world. We normally do think of others first. Being put in this place of not working and having a forced rest and separation from our practices, taking care of others weird. Having so much time to make sure we take care of ourselves and our families if we are isolating with them is just so different. So sharply focused and yet surreal. We are not all great at self-care and having time to accomplish things we put off and focus on ourselves it just does not feel okay all the time, we are definitely out of our comfort zone.
We have gained new skills with skype, facetime, zoom and other online things, which at first is nice to see another face. Then perhaps because we are so kinesthetically attuned, used to touch and physical presence, it becomes so much awareness of the distance, the physical disconnect with the virtual connection, that it can be unsettling for us. Some of us want to be available to do a virtual self-care support, self-massage/movement instruction but, it is a challenge for not only us but, you all that are hopefully looking forward to be on our tables again and not have to learn another new thing that most likely is not going to work as well as a massage. The thought that one might spend 8 hours on zoom in one day for a massage continuing education class without any hands on is appalling. We know that somewhere in the future the reality of high technology will create a deeper need for touch and connection. We have been saying this for many years, now we are feeling it.
“There is something very sacred about our nature and the nature of things – the nature of coming together, being together, getting in contact with each other and having a sensitive connection to what we are doing.” ~ Charlotte Selver
I genuinely believe that Massage Therapists with the insight, oversight, guidance and requirements from FEMA, the Red Cross and other entities did their best to follow Universal Precautions and create a “safe” workspace in the middle of a disasters. This happened over and over, from the San Francisco Earthquake to the Oklahoma City Bombing to 9/11 sites in NY and PA, to Katrina & Sandy and so many other hurricanes, after Tornados laid communities in pieces like Joplin, MO, Forest Fires in California, Washington & Oregon, and so many more. We do not know how to do this one though. No one was prepared for a pandemic.
I have to say I am done with the words “Social Distancing”…. It is physical distancing and we cannot maintain a minimum six foot of physical distance between us and provide a massage.
We know that when we get to practice massage again in the future it is going to have to be different. Massage Therapists were supposed to be taught, know and practice Universal Precautions consistently, as a whole profession. Except they didn’t always. We have to admit that some massage therapists, businesses and educators got lazy. So, we are reviewing everything we do, everything in our workspace, everything we or a human we work with could possibly come in contact with to see if we need to change anything to make it safer. Then we have to figure out if we need new products and/or equipment to keep our spaces uber tidy. And how much is that going to cost and how much more time is that going to take?
Some of the most important things that we can take away from our experiences is that;
- We are committed to being massage therapists, some of us may take other jobs to get by during this time, but we miss you, we appreciate you staying in contact, we know you value us and don’t think of us as non-essential, we want to work again as soon as it is safe.
- We can spend some time with ourselves, our families and our spaces and focus on appreciating being here now and being able to take the time to clean, repair, rearrange, paint, weed, plant and improve everything.
- We can learn new things, do things we have not done in a long time, do things in new ways and add other things to our lives to benefit ourselves and others.
- We can take a break, experience rest, eat well and exercise, it is good to renew ourselves and be ready to work again and be able to be truly well, vibrant, and present.
- We can take time to read those books, watch movies, listen to the music, write, make things, move, explore, and dance.
- We now have the time to connect by phone, email, social media or whatever with people and have those fun, fierce, deep, soul feeding conversations and let them know we care about them.
- We can all get along when it matters. And right now, it matters a whole lot.
And this last thing, that I want to share with you came back to me full circle today. I do love quotes and had printed some out to bring with me to Oklahoma City 25 years ago, in case I could hang them up somewhere for inspiration. I hung a few on several columns in the Myriad Center in the area where we were working. One disappeared within 24 hours. I put up another of the same one, it disappeared. I got someone to go get a few more printed and they just kept disappearing. Then I thought I might be in trouble and maybe that one was offensive or something. So, I asked the Chaplain. Who said, “it is good, keep printing them up or I will do it for you, the rescue team members are taking them with them.”
Then on the last day in almost mid-May, the last handful of us had cleaned everything up and packed it all up to go. As we walked out, I am outside for the first time in weeks and I felt this warm somatic collision with the sun and the air and the world again and I paused, basking, baking, enjoying this odd unexpected reunion. Behind me I heard a voice reciting that quote. I turned, and one of the rescue team members waved the last copy that I had left hanging on a column and walked off the other direction.
Here is the quote and I may be reciting every day now.
“This is the day when healing comes to us. This is the day when separation ends, and we remember who we really are.” ~Course in Miracles
May we all look forward to each day and our future reunions with the world, other humans, closeness, physical touch and the beingtherewithness we are missing.